Wednesday, December 23, 2009


milieu, indian ocean, some russian-origin joy. delicious bangla food, much laughter, fireworks and music under a crescent moon, iced tea and chocolate dessert, naked sex :). thank you, presidency.

Monday, December 14, 2009

3D Dreams

The Technicolour dreams of the average Judean feature

Smoky ledges

Charcoal skull-heads on white walls that look like the dead faces of people you know

Old coffee cups

The smell of second-hand books

Trees till the end of nowhere

Laying on your back in the grass looking up at the blurry sky with a symphony in your ears

Extensions of thought. Would you like Byron if he hadn't been a libertine?

Clowns in the middle of nowhere. They giggle softly.

The sounds of a train passing down the line a few hundred metres away. Laughter when it's gone.

A dog's brown eyes, soft nuzzles on your knees. You want to take it home

Hollow corridors, empty of people except for one sad-eared boy reading the notice board. The sound of water falling in the parking lot below

The stairs around the back of a vacuum. There go your friends. They wave and stop.

Smiles through a sunny curtain of cobwebs. A cat curls around your ankle, yearning to be scratched on the back.

Once upon a time, there used to be lovers on that rusted bridge over shallow green waters. The old man at the gate remembers chasing them away.

The library in the summertime. Reading in coolness.

Minds you found and liked. Oh the merry randomness.

Eccentric oblong of affection. Yet we are loyal.

The fluttering of new, crisp pages. Skim, don't read.

Sudden lust. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. In the end, nothing gained. Nothing lost.

Sometimes it's worth it, she wrote. Other times, just let it go.

Happiness. The End.


Monday, October 12, 2009

The Joo

Good morning sunshine! I mean you, dear reader. Regardless of the time and place at which you see this, I insist on bringing you the image of a bright, sunny, scorching, sultry morning, offset by the glorious splendours of the JU campus. Oh the jheelpar. Oh worldview. Oh green zone. Oh the birds. Oh the guitars. Oh the sunlight glinting off the bald spots on everyone's favorite librarian's head.

I've become one of the Bad Ones, I'm sorry (and secretly extremely pleased) to say. I no longer study. My competitive zest has disappeared, gone without a trace into the musty storage room at the back of my conscience, along with the low-cal diet reminders and the plot-ideas that have been festering beside my heart for half a decade now. And who cares, as long as there's chocolate? There's always music and half-gone smoke and a little bit on the side, in between long walks and longer talks. And all of you who know what the deal is will get this. Charmed oblong, they call it. Probably because of the odd angles and the awkward corners. Lucky us.

Coded gibberish, you will be thinking. And in nine and a half cases out of ten, you'd be right. I do speak coded gibberish. I live coded gibberish. One might even go so far as to say that I AM, in fact, coded gibberish. And what of it? For once I'm making sense to myself. Is it my fault that my sense is nonsense? And even if it is, who dares to question the irrationality of someone who's clearly unhinged quite a bit already?

I'm mad, I tell you. Bonkers, nutty, oddball-ish, crazy, deranged and loony. I always have been, of course, but for the first time I feel really at home somewhere, and that'd be at the Joo. I love all you animals who make the going-back-everyday worth it. And I cannot believe my luck, come to think of it. Lamp-posts stay lit and upright for me.


Sunday, August 23, 2009

Does this make me look fat?

What is the coolest thing you could wear to your departmental freshers' welcome at JUDE? Vote in the comments section please, for the wacky outfit of your choice.

1. In keeping with the icky-pink tradition.

Perhaps the general fluffiness is a bit much?


2. Green and chipper, then.

But enough with the animal motif. How about...........


3. This guy?


as opposed to this

which I, personally, cannot pull off.


4. Tradition demands that I go looking like this. And my friends say they are willing to risk being seen like this, too.



Um. No, bleh. But perhaps this?

I just asked Ma. She agrees that it's hard to sustain poses like this over long periods of time. However, if I want to frizz my hair and wear a strappy blouse she will be supportive as long as nothing falls apart. Which it inevitably will, so screw that.


5. As an afterthought, how about this?


It's happy, and freaky, and wacky, and silly, and more favorite words. But does it make me look fat, though, because the pink gorilla was rather slimming.


Vote please, for

a. The Fluffy Pink Gorilla
b. The Happy Frog
c. The Coolest Action-Figure Costume Ever
d. That Stupid Drape Thing
e. Clownface.

Vote fast, though. I'm depending on you to decide what will ultimately blow socks off.

Friday, July 31, 2009

Literary Insights for New Judeans

JUDE has its own set of unique experiences, revelations, and wacky one-liners to give to every new batch of undergrads who come in. Some of the funniest and most relevant lines that struck us as amazing are :-

Hardy's novel - 'At all important junctures in her life, it is profoundly astonishing that Tess should always have been either unconscious or asleep.'

In the context of the Marquis de Sade during the French Revolution - 'A hundred years later, that toilet paper was in fact found, with all the pornographic content intact.'

On Romantic poets - 'They were the first rockstars. Sex, drugs, rock 'n roll - they did it all.'

About the Victorian age - 'Organized religion shook on its foundations before Darwin and his madcap theories about evolution.'

On Oedipus Rex - 'The man wasn't stupid. He just had incredibly bad luck.' (condensed for my readers, who would hesitate to continue if I were to show off by spouting terms like hubris and catharsis.)

On Ledge Dynamics - 'Between you and me, I think lollipops taste better than magic pop candy. Monday, we should try lemon.'


'Dude looks pretty with the bow-clips in his hair.'


'With great umbrellas comes great responsibility. Stop hitting me with that godawful striped thing.'

and of course

'I wonder if you know, how we live in Tokyo' at random moments from phones across the corridors, accompanied by at least three girls dancing down to it.

Ah, the funkiness of it all. And we're just getting started.

Suggestions for more one-liners will be welcomed with multiple smiley faces and lots of love. Good night and good weekend, people.

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Weekend Update

The things I learned at JU this week are:

1. When the teachers say they want to confuse you by giving you contradictory essays to read, what they mean is - 'I will mumble so much you won't understand me, but soon you will learn to lipread and then I will find words to mouth that will confuse you much, much, more than Lovejoy's three-page sentences ever could.'

2. Icky Pink Day - What is it? Why do the seniors do it? The use of the word *icky* suggests that they are aware that pink is, in fact, icky; yet they persist in gross sartorial misjudgments and blot the landscape with splashes of maroon, fluorescent half-red, and baby pink. Pink suits only one out of every six of them, and the worst offenders are those who think that they're that one. Possibly they are trying to out closet homosexuals/revert to the flowerchild age/trigger a sartorial revolution/be funny/scare juniors/all of the above. Or maybe they just like pink. But why?

3. Getting Punk'd - was not so bad. Come on, a fake assignment that everyone except me apparently saw through? Saved me getting politicized, but apart from that.......

4. Library Cards - specifically, getting them, require several hours of training in advance and should be included as an Olympic event sometime in the next couple of centuries, when Judeans take over from the Freemasons (or the Illuminati or the aliens or the Brotherhood of Microsoft Executives or whatever cult you think has it going on) as the shadowy reins behind world domination. And while we're on the topic, fuck you, B*thune website administrators! Still think I'm not good enough for you?? In yo face!

5. Adjustment - Jude was an awakening in many ways, and certainly the unspoken glamour hasn't rubbed off yet; but at the same time the size of the workload and the amount of potential work involved requires some serious thought before I shelve it until there is a test to pass or something. I mean, it's not that I work that well under pressure so much as I don't work at any other time.

So there you have it. Thoughts? I will update again next week probably, and if I stay strong I will hopefully stop myself from buying something in pink with a cute quote about frogs and/or che guevara. Good night, and good week to you.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

After the First Day

You know how I said today would be a cool day? Well, there were two introductory classes, a three-page long reading list and two essays to learn, and a librarian who refused us entry to the hallowed portals of his domain without our cards. *Sigh* At least I was right about the pressure. And at least I had the rest of the day free for a fond culinary goodbye to a dear friend who very considerately picked up the tab.

And now to write/study/loaf. Or possibly all three. Good evening, everyone.

Monday, July 13, 2009

On The First Day at JU

Being a brand new college student, and also being a part-time whacked-out blogger, I intend to start this blog with a judicious mix of awed respect for JU itself, and my almost-copyrighted trademark of flippancy; or as many like to call it, downright cussedness to the nth degree. Therefore I shall begin with a tactful description of yesterday's orientation programme, and later progress to descriptive accounts of life at Joo, and deep and meaningful insights into the purpose of existence - most of which will be completely and utterly irrelevant to your life, but you'll read it anyway because it's just plain fun to watch someone else struggle like that.

Yesterday, the first year undergraduates were herded into an AC room and told to sit and stay there. Noting the marked resemblance of the seniors' general behaviour to us as compared to that of the trainers to puppies at a canine obedience school, some of us soon grew restless and ventured outside to the ledges. No sooner had the first of us started imitating lemmings, however, than we saw a distinguished looking gentleman heading towards the room we had just vacated. As he passed along the corridor, it became rapidly clear that many of the senior female students have been gently crushing on him for years. Ignoring the languishing sideways glances, he strode in and the orientation started.

Possibly the coolest thing about JUDE, that is to say the Jadavpur University Department of English, is that the teachers look like the composite characters from any given season of CSI Miami, CSI New York, or possibly Bones. There's the authoritative team leader, the two to five responsible departmental seniors, the wacky younger guy who is restless and appears to be a misfit but really isn't, the nerdy female character who is not only brilliant but can also kick ass on the field, and an assortment of consultative experts. JU students will know who I mean, but in the meantime I'd rather not be sued for slander or defamation by an angry student body who are all part of 'Follow-that-professor' cults. There is also a sage/wise man/son of unknown divine entity, who is frickin' well awesome.

The campus is big-ass, naturally, and there are more turnings and ponds and landmarks than a mall architect ever dreamed of. I greatly appreciate the open spaces to breathe, and the library is of course stupendously well-spoken of, but my favourite part of the grounds are the shady walks that look like verdant nature fading into the distant horizon. As a lover of nature, skyscapes, and peace and quiet, I will now take this opportunity to swoon with delight at the very thought.

The academic load is challenging rather than daunting; thankfully I'm as competitive as hell, or I might be crying forlornly at the size of the syllabus and the semester exam system right now. The book shop Worldview is also rather interesting. I will leave in about ten minutes for the first day of classes, where the pressure will be bloody well ON; but hopefully I'll have time to explore further and get back to you.

In the meantime, good day to you all. I'm a Judean now, so I'll have far more fun today than I possibly ever had before; but I don't want you to feel left out, so here's a smiley face :-) and thoughts of chocolate cake to you. So long.