A Serious Pome (to the Joo Dogs)

Down the smelly corridors of endless time
run the pattering sounds of your nonchalant paws
lazing in the winter sun, you cock a wise eye at us,
and you yawn slightly; we are beneath your notice.
you will only rouse yourself to action
when the tough young thugs from the engineering end of campus
trot over to challenge your territory - then you become a fearsome warlord.
A change from your ridiculously adorable alter-ego,
the one with the lolling tongue and the silly puppy eyes.
Your earnest snifflings around my ankles, the putrid smell of your garbage breath
do nothing to make me love you less.
True, I do not cuddle you, but only because I am lazy;
when you were a pup, I fed you everyday, and I tickled your back with great energy,
but like all children, you became a sullen half-adult who sulks in a corner.
You idiotic bundle of mangy fur, you don't realize that I saw you when you fit in my hand;
and when you strut around campus with bravado, I am not impressed.
Whimper lovably all you like, not a single crumb more,
you can have half this biscuit, however, I didn't really want it.
Don't follow me into class, you canine retard,
you can't hide under damp umbrellas during a lecture, you're bound to start sneezing.
Wait outside, I'll be out in an hour,
and maybe after that, we can sit on the stairs and listen to Elvis for a while.


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milieu

milieu, indian ocean, some russian-origin joy. delicious bangla food, much laughter, fireworks and music under a crescent moon, iced tea and chocolate dessert, naked sex :). thank you, presidency.

3D Dreams

The Technicolour dreams of the average Judean feature

Smoky ledges

Charcoal skull-heads on white walls that look like the dead faces of people you know

Old coffee cups

The smell of second-hand books

Trees till the end of nowhere

Laying on your back in the grass looking up at the blurry sky with a symphony in your ears

Extensions of thought. Would you like Byron if he hadn't been a libertine?

Clowns in the middle of nowhere. They giggle softly.

The sounds of a train passing down the line a few hundred metres away. Laughter when it's gone.

A dog's brown eyes, soft nuzzles on your knees. You want to take it home

Hollow corridors, empty of people except for one sad-eared boy reading the notice board. The sound of water falling in the parking lot below

The stairs around the back of a vacuum. There go your friends. They wave and stop.

Smiles through a sunny curtain of cobwebs. A cat curls around your ankle, yearning to be scratched on the back.

Once upon a time, there used to be lovers on that rusted bridge over shallow green waters. The old man at the gate remembers chasing them away.

The library in the summertime. Reading in coolness.

Minds you found and liked. Oh the merry randomness.

Eccentric oblong of affection. Yet we are loyal.

The fluttering of new, crisp pages. Skim, don't read.

Sudden lust. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. In the end, nothing gained. Nothing lost.

Sometimes it's worth it, she wrote. Other times, just let it go.

Happiness. The End.


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Does this make me look fat?

What is the coolest thing you could wear to your departmental freshers' welcome at JUDE? Vote in the comments section please, for the wacky outfit of your choice.


1. In keeping with the icky-pink tradition.



Perhaps the general fluffiness is a bit much?

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2. Green and chipper, then.




But enough with the animal motif. How about...........


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3. This guy?



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as opposed to this



which I, personally, cannot pull off.

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4. Tradition demands that I go looking like this. And my friends say they are willing to risk being seen like this, too.

.

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Um. No, bleh. But perhaps this?




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I just asked Ma. She agrees that it's hard to sustain poses like this over long periods of time. However, if I want to frizz my hair and wear a strappy blouse she will be supportive as long as nothing falls apart. Which it inevitably will, so screw that.

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5. As an afterthought, how about this?





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It's happy, and freaky, and wacky, and silly, and more favorite words. But does it make me look fat, though, because the pink gorilla was rather slimming.


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Vote please, for

a. The Fluffy Pink Gorilla
b. The Happy Frog
c. The Coolest Action-Figure Costume Ever
d. That Stupid Drape Thing
e. Clownface.

Vote fast, though. I'm depending on you to decide what will ultimately blow socks off.

Literary Insights for New Judeans

JUDE has its own set of unique experiences, revelations, and wacky one-liners to give to every new batch of undergrads who come in. Some of the funniest and most relevant lines that struck us as amazing are :-


Hardy's novel - 'At all important junctures in her life, it is profoundly astonishing that Tess should always have been either unconscious or asleep.'


In the context of the Marquis de Sade during the French Revolution - 'A hundred years later, that toilet paper was in fact found, with all the pornographic content intact.'


On Romantic poets - 'They were the first rockstars. Sex, drugs, rock 'n roll - they did it all.'


About the Victorian age - 'Organized religion shook on its foundations before Darwin and his madcap theories about evolution.'


On Oedipus Rex - 'The man wasn't stupid. He just had incredibly bad luck.' (condensed for my readers, who would hesitate to continue if I were to show off by spouting terms like hubris and catharsis.)


On Ledge Dynamics - 'Between you and me, I think lollipops taste better than magic pop candy. Monday, we should try lemon.'

also

'Dude looks pretty with the bow-clips in his hair.'

and

'With great umbrellas comes great responsibility. Stop hitting me with that godawful striped thing.'

and of course

'I wonder if you know, how we live in Tokyo' at random moments from phones across the corridors, accompanied by at least three girls dancing down to it.


Ah, the funkiness of it all. And we're just getting started.

Suggestions for more one-liners will be welcomed with multiple smiley faces and lots of love. Good night and good weekend, people.

Weekend Update

The things I learned at JU this week are:

1. When the teachers say they want to confuse you by giving you contradictory essays to read, what they mean is - 'I will mumble so much you won't understand me, but soon you will learn to lipread and then I will find words to mouth that will confuse you much, much, more than Lovejoy's three-page sentences ever could.'


2. Icky Pink Day - What is it? Why do the seniors do it? The use of the word *icky* suggests that they are aware that pink is, in fact, icky; yet they persist in gross sartorial misjudgments and blot the landscape with splashes of maroon, fluorescent half-red, and baby pink. Pink suits only one out of every six of them, and the worst offenders are those who think that they're that one. Possibly they are trying to out closet homosexuals/revert to the flowerchild age/trigger a sartorial revolution/be funny/scare juniors/all of the above. Or maybe they just like pink. But why?


3. Getting Punk'd - was not so bad. Come on, a fake assignment that everyone except me apparently saw through? Saved me getting politicized, but apart from that.......


4. Library Cards - specifically, getting them, require several hours of training in advance and should be included as an Olympic event sometime in the next couple of centuries, when Judeans take over from the Freemasons (or the Illuminati or the aliens or the Brotherhood of Microsoft Executives or whatever cult you think has it going on) as the shadowy reins behind world domination. And while we're on the topic, fuck you, B*thune website administrators! Still think I'm not good enough for you?? In yo face!


5. Adjustment - Jude was an awakening in many ways, and certainly the unspoken glamour hasn't rubbed off yet; but at the same time the size of the workload and the amount of potential work involved requires some serious thought before I shelve it until there is a test to pass or something. I mean, it's not that I work that well under pressure so much as I don't work at any other time.


So there you have it. Thoughts? I will update again next week probably, and if I stay strong I will hopefully stop myself from buying something in pink with a cute quote about frogs and/or che guevara. Good night, and good week to you.